


and i'm puffing my chest, getting red in the face

by pissedofsandwich



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Jealous Shane, M/M, Mutual Pining, Scheming Co-Workers, and ryan/zack dudebro friendship, poor zack just wanna talk about sports, we need more of steven/ryan friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 15:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13298247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissedofsandwich/pseuds/pissedofsandwich
Summary: "Zack's going to be there?" Shane asks, masking his... whatever it is he's feeling in his chest, with nonchalance.Ryan blinks. "Yes?"Well, never mind dancing with the fucking sun. He’s Icarus, wings melted and falling face-first into the asphalt.Or: Shane is definitely not at all jealous of how close Zack and Ryan are getting during the making of Sports Conspiracies. Except that he is.





	and i'm puffing my chest, getting red in the face

**Author's Note:**

> have y'all noticed how shane acts when he's jealous? pls enjoy this magnificent video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H2478gps-g (around the 2:57 mark) anyways, protective shane is amazing and all, but i present to you: jealous shane. 
> 
> (bonus also jealous ryan)
> 
> (theyre both stupid and too busy arguing to properly make out)

Ryan likes to chase disembodied voices, footsteps that have no feet, houses filled with ghosts or whatever, but Shane likes to be grounded in reality. There is always an explanation for every single supernatural encounter that's not, well, _supernatural_. It's just easier to accept what can actually be seen. Seeing is believing, and all that jazz.

That's why he's the brain of the duo, sometimes annoyingly so. Complementary to this, Ryan is the force that forces him off the chains of mundane, and while it will take Shane getting trashed around by a ghost to fully turn him into a believer, sometimes he lets himself be swept into Ryan's fantasy world, and it's... freeing, to say the least.

Even if he’s mostly just referring to the exhilaration he feels from seeing Ryan’s whole fucking being shines.

But sports? Yeah, he cannot find it in himself to give a flying fuck about them. So when Ryan asks him—repeatedly—to co-host his sports version of Unsolved, it doesn't take even a second for Shane to say no. Even if the way Ryan just deflates makes something in his chest unbelievably tight.

Look, it's the logical decision. If Ryan were to co-host with Shane, the sports version will _flop_. Shane doesn't understand a thing about sports, and will not get into it with the same passion he does for True Crime or Supernatural (even if it's the passion to prove Ryan wrong), and Ryan does not deserve a boring co-host. 

So when Zack Evans approaches, with a half-raised hand and an unsure smile, Shane feels relieved. Zack and Ryan aren't that close, so their banter isn't possibly going to be as fiery as his and Ryan's is, but Zack is nothing if not known as the resident jock of Buzzfeed. He likes sports. So that's good.

He returns to his sound booth to record another episode of Ruining History, which he has been neglecting due to their London trip. Sometimes he wishes he had Ryan's work ethic, able to juggle countless of projects and deliver in all of them.

Content at Ryan's choice of a co-host, the thoughts of Unsolved Sports quickly vanish from his mind. He busies himself with his own projects; he has a lot to catch up on before they shoot the new season of True Crime.

He doesn't think about it until he starts noticing Ryan hanging out at Zack's desk. And he does it a lot. Even during lunch, when it's usually reserved as his exclusive "torment Ryan with whatever item he has in his hand" time.

Again, logic comes through for him. It makes sense that Ryan would be spending more time with Zack. They are working on the Sports Conspiracies, and apparently, sports have tons of conspiracies to choose from. So they discuss a lot. 

Shane is definitely okay eating lunch with the Violet crew. The girls are hilarious. He has always gotten along with Sara. Their similar brand of humor sort of pulls them together, and he is always up for whatever bizarre stories Sara has in store. Plus, she doesn’t believe in ghosts!

If his eyes keep straying to where Ryan and Zack are, talking animatedly and sitting way, _way_ too close for Shane's liking—yeah, it’s his own business.

-

Shane sometimes doesn't listen to his logic. 

It starts when he begins experiencing curious _symptoms_. One day, Ryan was tired after a long day of picking apart a particularly difficult audio from the New Orleans episodes, and he had folded his arms on his desk as a makeshift pillow for his head to rest. Shane, in a spur-of-the-moment gesture, ruffled his hair, and Ryan blinked blearily up at him, and smiled.

The thing is, it's not the first time Ryan has smiled at him. They have been friends since they were interns, sat next to each other since day one, went through horrifying liquid diet to snail facials with the Test Friends, and ended up together with Buzzfeed Unsolved. Ryan has smiled at him a lot, in between those, and that moment was certainly not rare.

But his heart fucking _skipped a beat_.

At the time, he dismissed it, thinking it was just the trick of the lights. But then he started experiencing it more often: when Ryan's hand accidentally brushed his when they reached for the same snack in the pantry, when Ryan laughed in that way that he only could (with his whole body, so open, lighting up like a Christmas tree), when Ryan shuffled close to him in Waverly, when they slept together in Dauphine, and in every hotel room in every haunted city Ryan dragged him to. It infuriates Shane, because Ryan could be doing the most ordinary thing, like fixing his hair, but for a moment, Shane's heart would be doing things that he doesn't understand. And sometimes his stomach, too.

And Shane is not dense or oblivious. His logic already supplies an answer, a clear voice speaking in his head, but Shane has made the completely reasonable decision to ignore the fuck out of it. For sanity’s sake.

See, he doesn't believe in ghosts because he cannot see them. He can't be scared of anything that's not real.

But Ryan is _real_. And sometimes, when his heart is not skipping a beat and his stomach is not being funny, he looks at Ryan, and feels his chest tighten. Because Ryan and his brilliant mind and his blind faith and his stupid warm hands—he's not for him. Ryan is not... he doesn't _belong_ to Shane, and he knows a person cannot own another person, but Ryan is not Shane's.

And... probably will never be. And that—that hurts Shane, almost physically, and that sensation, it’s very, very real.

And Shane is scared.

-

"Shane, do you have a moment?" Sara asks. "I have this idea for a skit about an awkward girl having a crush on an awkward boy, and I think you'd be the perfect actor for it."

Ryan has practically migrated to Zack's desk by now. Shane hates how empty Ryan's desk look without his trusty MacBook and big-ass notebook, where he uses to write down all his research notes and ideas. 

"Shane?"

"Mm-hmm."

Zack is way too close. Really, does he have to lean that close? Why does he have to whisper? What are they, in high school?

Sara, by now realizing that anything she says will go right through Shane, folds her arms across her chest, annoyed. "Shane!" She claps both hands in front of Shane, once and purposefully loud, and immediately Shane snaps out of it.

"Sorry," the tall man grumbles, finally training his eyes on her. Sara follows where his eyes had just been—and immediately understood.

"Oh, man," Sara says. She pulls a nearby vacant chair and plops down on it. "You okay? I play a really awkward character in Violet, but I'm a pretty good wingwoman in real life."

Shane splutters, struggling to keep a straight face. Times like this he wishes he had Andrew's penchant for appearing stoic, even when eating the world's most expensive foods. "I don't know what you're talking about," he lies. Sara gives him a look, and his resolve immediately crumbles. "Okay. Fine. I—may be experiencing something... unpleasant.”

Sara rolls her eyes. "Let me call it as it is, Madej. You're jealous."

Shane makes a strangled noise. "No," he says weakly, burying his face in his hands. "No, I'm not."

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure if looks could kill, we'd have another case of Unsolved in this very office right now," Sara says. "You were glaring daggers at Zack!"

"Technically, that case will not be Unsolved, because the murderer would be obvious," Shane points out.

"Doesn't matter! Fact is, Mr. Madej, you _are_ jealous of Zack," Sara concludes. Shane considers deflecting again, but decides against it because—well, what's the use?

"Yeah, okay, maybe," Shane mumbles. "Look—it's stupid. I'm just being stupid. Ryan is spending a lot of time with Zack because they're working on that sports thing. It doesn't matter. Once that ends—" he trails off. What's going to happen once sports ends? He was going to say, _Ryan will be his again_ , but that's ridiculous if Ryan was never his in the first place. And he can't just—lay claim over someone like some caveman. _Jesus Christ._  

"What?" Sara pushes.

"Nevermind," Shane says. "Just—let it go, yeah?"  
  
"But—" 

"It's not going anywhere," Shane cuts in sharply. "He's not—we're not—" He inhales, because his chest feels tight again, like someone just squeezes out all the air from his lungs, and he wants to go. Far away from Zack and Ryan and their heads bent together like they're in on a secret only they share. "It's not like _that_ ," he finally says, when he can finally breathe normally again.

"Just try to talk to him, Shane," Sara says, and that's probably the most logical thing to do, except Shane has run through this countless of times in his head, and he keeps coming to the same conclusion: it will ruin their friendship, compromise the show, and everything Ryan has worked for. He can't risk that.

"Sure, yeah," Shane lies. "I'll do it—later." Seemingly satisfied with Shane's answer, Sara nods, and drops the subject. She launches right into her skit idea, which sounds adorable—and a great distraction from this rope around his chest that threatens to suffocate him. Shane says yes without hesitation.

As Sara leaves, Shane chances another glance at Zack and Ryan. Zack says something inaudible, but whatever it is, it must've been funny, because Ryan throws his head back and laughs. Shane's fingers curl into a fist, and he has to remind himself how to breathe.

-

Ryan is pleasantly surprised at the positive response that Sports Conspiracies have been getting. He scrolls down Facebook, grinning to himself as he sees good-natured debate going on in the comment section, old fans who claim to know exactly zero percent about sports but watch the series anyway because they love Ryan, new fans who have never heard of Unsolved before in their lives and might just get hooked.

He isn't sure, when he first pitches it, if it's going to be a good direction for the show. Shane, having declared his disinterest in participating in anything related to sports, doesn't want to be his co-host, and that's enough to make Ryan doubt. His dynamic with Shane is the backbone of Unsolved; the relentless way Ryan believes and the insufferable way that Shane doesn't. It hurts him a little, if he's being honest—but he supposes Shane's decision is more for the show's sake than his own.

Zack, a fellow avid fan of sports, is a great co-host. He banters with Ryan, takes a hard stance and argues when he can, breaks out jokes and puns that has Ryan doubling over in laughter, and they make a good duo. His fans notice it too, which doesn't hurt the views. Zack makes Sports Conspiracies good, and he is fun to drink with.

But something feels… off.

Not just with the show. He supposes he’s been so used to Shane’s presence, that sometimes, when he looks down to read his script, he expects to see Shane when he looks up, and startles himself a little when he sees Zack in his place instead. He misses bantering with Shane, that much he knows, but True Crime will be back. _Shane_ will be back.

But the man in question has been acting weird.

** Exhibit A: **

Shane doesn’t eat lunch with him, maneuvering straight to the Violet girls table even as Ryan waves his hand at him, clearly an invite to his table. Zack asks him if they’re fighting, and it puts Ryan at unease.

** Exhibit B: **

Ryan pours milk for Zack's coffee in the pantry. Shane, obviously about to walk in, if the mug in his hand is any indication, promptly walks out. Only when Ryan is out of the pantry does he come into the pantry. A few minutes later, Zack comes out with a paper cup clutched in his hand, tiny spots of coffee on his red flannel. He asks Ryan if Shane has always been that intimidating. Ryan thinks,  _the human grasshopper scares Zack?_ and almost laughs, if his heart doesn't hurt at the obvious signs that something is disturbing Shane.

** Exhibit C: **

Ryan sends him an Unsolved meme on Instagram. It’s one of those where Shane is an actual demon, thus the reason why they never catch anything on camera. Possibly also why Shane doesn’t give two fucks about offending ghosts—they’re all too scared of Shane. Shane finds them very entertaining and loves every single version of that meme. All he gets in return is a red heart. Meanwhile, a fanart of him and Sara in the latest Violet skit get seven heart emojis on Twitter.

And—according to science, an experiment must be carried out at least three times before he can safely make a conclusion, and so—there it is. Shane is acting weird. Almost like… he wants to avoid Ryan. But why, exactly?

(And he hates how he immediately adopts the Theory Voice, even in his fucking mind, by the way)

** Theory 1: **

Ryan did something wrong. Ryan likes to think of himself as pretty perceptive when it comes to emotions. Helen had told him it’s part of what makes him such a valuable lover. (Sadly, not for her, but neither is she for Ryan) Except he has no clue what he could’ve done wrong. They barely interacted at all the past week.

** Theory 2: **

Shane did something wrong. But why does he have to avoid Ryan because of it? It's like—it's like Shane wants to punish him for the time he spent with Zack by avoiding him and hanging out with the Violet girls. Hanging out with Sara.

Oh. Wait.

Is Shane—is Shane _into Sara_?

Violet is Buzzfeed’s only character-based channel, but every content is mostly an imitation of real life. Actors are playing a barely altered version of themselves. Skits are based on every day life encounters that are, most of the time, true stories. Meaning, Ashly and Andrew _did_ have a thing before she ultimately realized her sexuality (and Andrew transferred to Tasty out of heartbreak, found Steven (rather, _Steven_ found him), and discovered his bisexuality—that was a hard time for everyone involved). Meaning—Shane and Sara could be into each other. _Meaning_ —

Whatever. What the fuck ever, okay? Ryan's not fucking jealous or anything. He's not—he's not some lead boy in a teen movie in love with his best friend and getting jealous over his best friend's new cooler, adorable-er friend. Sara’s great, she’s always had her own brand of weirdness that makes her lovable. It's complementary to Shane's gangly presence of 80% legs and annoying playfulness, and they're adorable together.

It's just—

Fuck, okay, Ryan can't hide from his feelings anymore. He's doing perfectly fine ignoring everything, before this. He even can sleep in the same bed with Shane without ever feeling like—like his heart is going to explode, or something, and sometimes when they're both drunk, Ryan lets his head rest on Shane's shoulder. Platonically, of course, 'cos Shane may call him delusional for believing in the supernatural—but these things, Ryan knows better than to hope. Yeah, never going to happen, even if pigs start to fly.

But Ryan's not fucking jealous, no, he's not, he's just. He's just.

They’re—close. Too close to pretend they’re not more than best friends. Shane jokes about the underground portion of the Unsolved fanbase that is convinced they’re dating, resigned but visibly uncomfortable, and _uh_. Ryan never tells him he kind of wants it to happen, because he already knows Shane isn’t into him like that.

Sara approaches Shane. They talk about something. Shane laughs. Ryan desperately wants to know what's so funny.

-

Even when he tries hard not to, Shane still notices everything about Ryan. Like how he doesn't clap Shane on the back now every morning before he gets to his desk. Sometimes, Shane finds him staring hard at the collection of post-it notes on his desk, nose scrunched up in concentration, pencil between his thumb and index finger. Shane worries something is wrong, but Ryan keeps insisting everything is fine, so Shane reluctantly lets it go.

"Maybe Sports Conspiraces is bothering him," Sara guesses. "How many can there be? Aliens abducting players? Or... like... players are secretly aliens?"

"I'm pretty sure there is more variety than just aliens," Shane says.

"What do you know? We both know nothing about sports!" Sara points out. 

Shane wonders if it's something that he did. But what could it be? The intensity of their conversation in the office winds down since Ryan started getting busy for sports. To be fair, Ryan is not the only one getting busy. Between Ruining History and Sara's three-part story, Shane has enough on his plate—and once again, wishes he had Ryan Bergara's work ethics—to have become the source of Ryan's distress.

And Ryan doesn't get distracted, ever. Work comes first to him, even during the rough patches in his and Helen's relationship, even when they eventually split. Shane remembers the way his bravery after the split paves way to something more reckless, taunting the ghosts as if desperate to get hurt, and remembers how Ryan's shoulders shake when the cameras are finally off. Shane had pulled him into his arms and when Ryan pulled away, Shane's sleeves had been damp. They laughed and forgot about it (well, at least Ryan did) and the next day, Ryan became the normal Ryan who buries himself in work. 

But it's clear Ryan doesn't want to talk about it, so. Shane just hopes Ryan is truly fine. Whatever it is—it’s clear that Zack makes a portion of it at least a little okay. He sees them in the pantry, Ryan pouring milk into Zack’s cup and smiling. Shane is—thankful, definitely. As hurtful as that is, Shane knows, realistically, he’s not the only person who puts that smile on Ryan’s face. Ryan being okay makes him happy, and it’s more important than his stupid dumb feelings.

Even if he ends up knocking into Zack a little too harsh to be deliberate when they pass each other in the hallway, causing him to almost spill his coffee. He didn’t see the absolute terror that washes over Zack’s face, but if he does, he would feel _very_ pleased about it.

-

The Awkward series with Sara is doing okay. First episode has about two million views, but it has only been three days—views are bound to go up, and they have two more episodes scheduled for the next two weeks. A fan tweets a really cute fanart of Sara and him, inspired by the series, and Shane just had to reply with a bunch of hearts. Views finally reach three million as the second episode gets uploaded. Shane feels very accomplished; it's been a long while since he acted in something, and he's forgotten how much he loves it.

By the time office hours end, the second episode has nine-hundred thousand views. Shane takes off his headphone and lets himself relax. Yeah, today was a good day.

"Hey, wanna go grab a drink?" Ryan asks, taking off his headphone as well.   
  
Shane feels his mood flying. It was not down to begin with, but now it's _soaring_ , between the clouds and dancing with the sun. "Sure," he says. He's missed drinking with Ryan after Unsolved, going over theories that didn't make it to the final cut, debating way well into the night—but mostly, the way their bodies would gradually shift closer as the night grows darker, like they're meant to fit that way.

"Okay, great. Zack is already waiting for us at the bar, so—"

Oh. "Zack's going to be there?" Shane asks, masking his... whatever it is he's feeling in his chest, with nonchalance. 

Ryan blinks. "Yes?"

Well, never mind dancing with the fucking sun. He’s Icarus, wings melted and falling face-first into the asphalt. Shane hastily gathers his things. "Y-you know what, I totally forgot that I had a thing—with—with Sara," Shane says. 

"Oh," Ryan says softly. "The, uh, the Awkward series, right?"

Shane nods.

"Well," Ryan pulls his jacket from where he's put it over the back of his chair, slipping it on with ease. The look in his eyes is strange when he looks back at Shane. "Great job with that, by the way."

Shane wants to retort with something witty, something that is sure to make Ryan laugh, in that way that he only can: with his full body, corners of his eyes crinkling, and so incredibly endearing. He doesn't know why he says, "Thanks."

"I—I'm going now," Ryan says. "Let's talk before Christmas, yeah? About True Crime."

"Of course," Shane says. 

Ryan gives him a small nod, and leaves the office. Shane doesn't move from his desk for a solid minute. Good day, his ass. For some reasons, Shane believes he just made it worse, whatever it is.

-

"...yan? Ryan!"

Snapped out of his reverie, Ryan looks up to see Zack. "So, you do realize you have your own desk, right?"

"Yeah," Ryan swallows. "Just want to get over these final notes for one last time, before we shoot tomorrow."

Zack peers down at the notes. "Oh, sweet! Are these the Deflategate case?" he says. "For the record, I know for sure Brady didn't do it."

"Save the banter for the shoot, man," Ryan lets out a chuckle.

"Sure, sure, got it," Zack gives him a thumbs-up, and then, very abruptly, changes the subject. "By the way, the guys from Worth It are having a taste test down in the Studio 9, you should come by."

At any other point in his life, Ryan would have sprinted right away to Studio 9. Just not today. "Yeah, maybe later. I got things to do—"

"No, like, you gotta go," Zack butts in. Ryan raises his eyebrows. Like a kid caught red-handed stealing cookies in the kitchen, Zack schools his face into a perfectly neutral expression. But everyone in Buzzfeed is, on some level, an actor. Ryan sniffs a scheme right away. "But, like, it's chill, man. Whatever. They're just testing—like, 1 dollar food vs 100 dollar food and—"

Ryan stares straight into Zack's eyes. "What are you up to, Zack?"

"Jesus, man, I can literally feel your eyes boring holes into my forehead, like—"

"Ryan!" Steven, like the wild Pokémon Ryan always suspects he is, appears out of nowhere and wraps one arm around Ryan's shoulder. "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. My man! My best man!"

Ryan yanks Steven's arm off—and oh, that felt like kicking a puppy in the face. Steven, though, has an exterior as tough as a brick wall, and smiles wide. "You should come down to Studio 9, my man, because we are testing—you guessed it—"

"Literally nobody guessed, Steven—and what's wrong with you all? Why do I feel like I'm being horribly set up?" Ryan looks between Steven's cheery face and Zack's controlled grimace.

"—catering food!" Steven finishes, happy with himself. He’s almost always happy, annoyingly so. "Also, your weird ghost instincts are now interfering with reality, Ryan—"

"I don't have weird ghost instincts, and if I do, they're not interfering my judgment at all—"

"Come on, man," Steven makes a noise that sounds uncomfortably like a whine. "People have been asking for an Unsolved/Worth It crossover for a long while now. Please? I think it will definitely boost the views. You know what, in exchange, you can have me in your Postmortem next season!"

"Ask Shane," Ryan grumbles. “And—your show is doing great, Steven, you don’t need a boost in views.”

"Yeah, uh, he's busy," Steven says. Ryan glances at Shane's desk—empty. Oh. He must've gone to do his thing with Sara. He looks back at Steven again, at Zack, who still looks like he just shared something that's supposed to be a secret, and thought, What the hell. I need a distraction anyway.

"Yeah, sure," Ryan says. "Whatever.”

-

He walks into Studio 9 to find it empty. Fucking shit, he fucking knew it. He's being pranked.

"Steven!" He bellows, turning back around, but the door behind him is locked and Steven is nowhere to be seen. A moment later, the lights are switched off, and Ryan finds himself alone in the dark. "Jesus fucking—Steven! You're never going to get that Worth It/Unsolved crossover that you want so badly! Don't ever fucking talk to me ever again, you silver-headed son of a bitch!"

Steven's voice, muted, replies, "I'm sorry, Ryan! This is for your own good! We are sick of the tension!" And then he adds, "And watch your mouth! My mom is an amazing woman!"

Zack's apologetic voice followed. "I'm sorry, too, Ryan! Please tell Shane to not kill me!"

Ryan is so fucking ready to kill a man now. It's a good thing he can't see shit. If he can get a hold of something relatively heavy and can be used to break a door apart, he wouldn't hesitate to pick it up, destroy the goddamn door, and kill Steven. And kill Zack too. He can find another co-host for Sports Conspiracies. He should just do it with Quinta. She's a thousand times cooler than anyone in this office, and the only one Ryan can count on not to fuck with him like this.

"So this is a prank, then?" Ryan yells out. "Real original of y'all to lock up the guy scared of ghosts in a dark room. In daylight. Do you have someone dressed up as fucking—Axeman, or something hiding in here? Is he gonna come and yell boo at me? Come out, fake ghosts and demons, wherever you are!" Suddenly, he understands why Shane loves tormenting ghosts so much. It is satisfying to insult things that he knows aren't going to physically hurt him. Well, at least he knows Buzzfeed isn't going to let him get physically injured. He is a motherfucking asset.

With this newfound bravery, Ryan continues yelling. "What? Are you scared of me now? Because I know you are just paid people in costumes? Come at me, man! Go fucking nuts, rip my heart out—"

A chair topples over.

" _HOLY F_ —"

"It's just me!" Shane's voice shouts over him.

Ryan, who could've sworn he felt his heart leap out of his throat, clutches his chest. Yeah, his heart is definitely still where it's supposed to be. "Are you—are you in this? Man, that's so shitty of you—"

"No, I'm not!" Shane's disembodied voice says. Ryan focuses on that voice, trying to locate where he is in the pitch-black darkness. "I'm pretty sure I was the one getting pranked. Sara told me they needed a volunteer for Outsmarted. Then next thing I know I'm tied to this shit chair and they put a gag over my mouth. I am still tied to the chair, by the way."

That explains why this is the first time Ryan hears Shane talk, despite having been here the whole time. Ryan sighs. "Normally, I would've been overjoyed at the thought of you getting gagged—"

"Oh, _Ryan_."

"Shut the fuck up, Shane, that's not how I meant it and you fucking know it," Ryan snaps. Silence. Goddammit. "Shane?"

"Yeah?" Small, hesitant, probably a little bit to the left.

"Keep—keep talking," Ryan says. "I need to know where you are."

"You're trying to locate me using my voice?"

"Yes."

"Like—echolocation? Are you a bat, Ryan?"

“Shut the fuck up, asshole, or I’m going to leave you here to rot for the rest of your life and do Unsolved with Zack forever.” Ryan knocks into what may be Shane, and he reaches out. He feels the hard fabric of denim, and recognizes it instantly. "Your position's weird," Ryan observes, a little alarmed.

"Uh, yeah, I knocked the chair over in an attempt to get the gag off—which was successful—so now I'm on my back," Shane explains. "And still tied to the chair. Also, my head hurts. I think there is too much blood inside my brain now.”

"Jesus, just another day in the Buzzfeed office,” Ryan grumbles. He grabs hold of what is hopefully the legs of the chair, pushing it upward so Shane's position is righted. He's glad the lights are off. He knows they're going to look ridiculously suggestive if the lights had been on.

"Oh, that's so much better," Shane says. "All the blood going to my head isn't probably a good thing. Thought my head is gonna explode."

"Would've been a good thing," Ryan grunts. He moves around Shane, feeling for the rope that held his hands together, struggling to untie it.

"What?" Shane laughs in disbelief. "Are you saying you would be happy if my head exploded?"

"Of course not," Ryan snaps. He's aware that arguing is the basis for their friendship, and sometimes they can get a little too verbally aggressive, but as much as he jokes about killing Shane—probably too much—Shane is... precious to him.

Maybe it's the dark, providing him a refuge from facing his feelings head-on, but Ryan says, "You--you're my fucking best friend, man. I don't actually want to kill you."

"I know," Shane says. "You're my best friend, too." Shane's voice is soft but Ryan's known him for too long to disregard a hint of strangeness in it. Like Shane is trying to hide something.

God, why is it so hard to untie these damn ropes?

"I'm—"

"Ryan, I—"

Oh, they've spoken at the same time now, like fucking high schoolers. Ryan scoffs. "You go first."

"I—" Shane cuts himself off. "Do you have any idea why they've put us here?"

Ryan does, actually. They did this to Andrew and Steven to get them together. It was in the middle of season three, and they had a falling out that threatened to ruin their friendship. It was Jen's idea to lock them in the broom closet, and an hour later—well, they did more than just make up. "Probably because you were stupid," Ryan says instead.

“How am I being stupid?” Shane says, sounding defensive.

“Well, you’ve been avoiding me, for one,” Ryan answers. He sounds like a petulant child, angry at his parents for not giving him attention when he shows them his drawing. He hates it.

“Avoiding _you_?” Ryan can’t see it, but he’s pretty damn sure Shane’s gaping like a stupid fish. “Ryan, I haven’t—”

“Yes, you have,” Ryan says, with such ferocity it sounds like a growl. “You don’t eat with me at lunch, you avoid me in the office, you don’t reply to my Instagram DMs—” Oh god, he sounds like a damn teenager. Eventually, he manages to get Shane’s hands free, and bends down to feel around Shane’s ankles for another rope, and works on that one, too. Again, super glad for the dark. Ryan’s sure from a clever angle it would look like Ryan is doing something more exciting, and he does not need his head in the gutter right now.

Shane hasn’t spoken. He knows Ryan’s not finished yet, it seems.

“Look, Shane,” Ryan takes a deep breath. “I know you’re into Sara—”

“ _What_?”

“—and I get it, you don’t want to give Sara the wrong idea by being with me—”

“Ryan, what the hell?”

“I’m not finished!” Ryan pulls the rope free, probably a little too harsh to be necessary. “God, I like you better when you can’t fucking talk.”

“No, Ryan, you’re wrong,” Shane ignores him completely. He’s standing up, and his hands are flailing wildly in the dark, like he’s trying to grab Ryan. “Give Sara the wrong idea of what?”

“Of—I don’t know! People have always commented on how weirdly close we are. You—you’ve read the fanfics! People think we’re secretly dating or whatever, so I understand if you want to distance yourself from me,” Ryan says. “But that’s some heteronormativity bullshit, Shane Madej.”

“Ryan, I am bi,” Shane says. Finally, his hands land on Ryan’s shoulders, and they stay there, unmoving.

“Well, all the more reasons for you not to perpetuate this straight bullshit—”

“Ryan, I don’t like Sara.”

“Oh,” Ryan says softly. In the dark, he can only see the outline of Shane’s face, the juncture where his shoulders meet his neck, the slope of his nose. “Oh. Then why?”

“I—” Shane inhales sharply. “You were always with Zack. I—I got jealous.”

“Jealous of _Zack_?” Ryan repeats, incredulously.

“Well, you were spending every waking hour with him!” Shane says. “You’ve practically moved in to his desk, and he—he gets to make you laugh and get milk poured into his coffee by you—”

“We’re working together for Sports Conspiracies!” Ryan yells. His brain is going to explore out of sheer frustration. “Which, need I remind you, you don’t want to do with me!”

“Because! I would be a boring co-host!” Shane yells back. “I don’t understand anything about sports!”

“Okay, then you can’t be jealous of Zack!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Jesus—I like you!”

Whoop, there it is. Shane is awfully silent. Ryan feels Shane’s hands slip from his shoulders, and—great, he’s just fucking ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Shane’s going to quit Unsolved and then he’s going to have to recruit Brent again—

And then he feels hands on the back of his neck. He’s being pulled close and there are lips on his. Shane is kissing him, and okay, okay, he is definitely on board with this. He kisses back with the pent-up feelings he’s kept inside for months, winding his arms around Shane’s neck as Shane’s hands travel downward to rest on his hips.

“You’re too fucking tall,” Ryan complains when they break apart for air.

“Are you serious?” Shane is still holding him. “I just kissed you with everything I had and that’s all you had to say?”

“It’s very inconvenient to stand on my toes when I’m trying to kiss you back,” Ryan says. He feels like a soda can that’s been shaken for a long while, finally uncapped. “Sasquatch.”

“You’re one to talk, midget,” Shane says without heat. It’s still so fucking dark in here. How long are Steven and his accomplices going to lock him up here? He wants to see Shane’s face, map out every line with his lips, and he can’t do that when he can barely see past his nose. It’s a miracle they even kissed the correct parts of their body.

“Shut up, I’m average-height, you’re just a weird anomaly,” Ryan retorts.

Shane puts his hands under Ryan’s thighs, and brings him up, as if proving a point. Ryan holds to his shoulders for balance, legs going around his hips, and okay, okay, Ryan is so on board with this. “How ‘bout this?” Shane whispers in a stupidly sexy husky voice, and, again, Ryan is so fucking on board.

“Yeah,” Ryan says. “This is good.” He takes Shane’s face in his hands and kisses him again. They’re so stupid, they’re both so fucking stupid. Communication is so important. If they’d talked, he’s pretty sure they would’ve been doing this since a week ago. Ryan deepens the kiss, making up for lost time, but also because kissing Shane is amazing.

Like, _so_ amazing.

Shane slowly lowers him to the ground. “You’re like human muscle,” he says.

“News flash, Shane, all humans are made of muscle,” Ryan says.

Shane wheezes out a soft laugh. He’s pulling Ryan into his embrace, resting his forehead against Ryan’s. Ryan imagines he has to bend down a lot. “I like you too.”

Ryan grins. “I’m pretty sure you said love. You’re in love with me, man.”

Shane doesn’t even hesitate. “Yeah, I am.”

-

(Steven bangs on the door three times.

“Does it mean we’re still on for the crossover?” he asks.

“Shut the fuck up, Steven!” Ryan yells from the inside. “And fucking get us out!”)


End file.
